Wockey Pool 2015 - Bigger IS Better

Congratulations!  YOU are one of the select few lucky enough to have both ten dollars and the poor life decision-making skills necessary to be part of the 2015 Wockey Pool!  This year, we have a new record 358 entries making this the largest college hockey pool west of the Mississippi, east of the Rockies, and centrally located in my living room!

 

If you’re new to the pool, what you are about to embark on is the most magical journey one could take--a life-altering, soul-replenishing experience that can only be described as wondrous, magnificent, and unabashedly orgasmic.  For those of you returning, you know that’s complete BS, but DON’T TELL THE NEW GUYS!

 

We’ve had some wonderful bracket names entered this year.  Roughly one-third of entrants named their bracket (insert name here)’s winning bracket, which will make it hell once it comes down to tiebreakers.  The Wockey Committee will announce the winner of the Wockey Bracket Name of the Year in a bit, but first, to the honorable mentions:

 

I Peed in the Wockey Pool...Sorry (Jody Norstedt) -- A solid entry, but it can’t win due to the apology at the end of the name.  We encourage urination in the Wockey Pool.  An experienced Wockeyite like Norstedt should know this.

 

QuitLooking@MeSwan’s Bracket 1 (Roger Irwin) -- A solid shout out to Billy Madison made even more impressive by the fact that it isn’t an obvious allusion to his last name, which one would assume to be Swanson.

 

Nick Wenck Loves You (Nick Wenck) -- The feeling is mutual, Nick.  But not enough to make you Bracket Name Champion.

 

Puck Off (JP Zandlo) -- The feeling is mutual, JP.  But not enough to make you Bracket Name Champion.

 

I am a-RAU-sed’s Bracket #1 (Nicholas Fritz) -- I love it when a bracket works in a player’s name in this way.  Nick could’ve easily been your winner if he had went with a St. Cloud State player rather than a Gopher (“Ryan Papa Don’t Preach”, “Ilvonen On a Prayer”, the possibilities are endless!)  GO HUSKIES!

 

Charlie Shut Up Stupid (Thomas Nikula) -- A beautiful name.  We don’t know who Charlie is.  We don’t know why Thomas wants him to shut up.  But if there’s a place to anonymously air your grudges via a meaningless bracket name, it’s the Wockey Pool.

 

Don8nDollaBills (Jesse Madison)                                                                                                                             Slim Chances On This One (Michael Henke) -- Sometimes it’s best to admit you’re beaten before you’ve even begun.

 

Pooptastic (Brooke Zilka) -- Heh, heh...poop.

 

Nick Wenck Hates You                                                                                                                                                     Nick Wenck Eats You (Nick Wenck) -- Nick is doing a lot of things to us this Wockey Pool.  I’m confused.  And I like that.

 

And your 2015 Wockey Bracket Name of the Year winner is...

 

Winner Winner Chicken Paprika (Tim Evanson) -- The perfect name.  Several brackets used the “Winner Winner…” theme, but only one leaves you as disoriented, sad, and befuddled as this one does.  I spent six-and-a-half unsettling hours trying to dissect why Tim chose Paprika to cap his bracket’s name only to find myself shuffling through the seedy streets of Minneapolis even more lost as to it’s meaning than when I began.  Well played, sir.

 

For earning the ultimate distinction one can receive in naming their bracket, Tim will receive this.

 

The 2015 Wockey Pool has a lot to live up to following the impressive performances of the last few years.  Can anyone top Eric Fritz’s perfect bracket from last year?  (The answer is obviously no.)  Can another Puckhead do any worse than Elena Luoto Meister’s 0-8 performance two years ago?  (This is not hard people.  The answer is no.)  In fact, the only thing that could make this year’s Wockey Pool even better is if we can somehow convince this person to join.  Barring that, this year is sure to be a major failure!

 

Nevertheless, there are some reasons for optimism.  For instance, we’ve outsourced our Wockey customer service department to Westeros this year.  Beyond that (and the occasional appearance of this) prepare to be massively disappointed.

 

The Pool is officially under way as Boston University and Yale are underway with the first game.  I encourage all of you to watch the action on ESPNU and ESPN3 as the NCAA Men’s Hockey Tournament is truly one of the most exciting and underrated sporting events America has to offer.  I will provide updates on both our Facebook and Twitter pages as they become available.

 

Good luck and good Wockeying!  And if you are one of the many Wockeyites who will inevitably be knocked out after day one, at least you have this.

 

Your Licking, Loving, Lamenting Wockey Commissioner,

Alex