Wockey Pool Day Three - From the Mouths of Misguided Babes
Posted 3/29/15The first weekend of Wockey 2015 is a wrap, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve had more fun than doppelgangers on a first date. We’ve had wild finishes, major upsets, and wild finishes. We’ve also had major upsets. Now, we’ve even had this. After yesterday’s post, I had a guy reach out to me on Twitter who makes art using the likenesses of Bea Arthur and Betty White. And no, I did not just make that last part up. Go internet!
One thing we will not have, however, is any further delay in naming our 2015 Wockey Puckhead. Having a youngster play a role in the fate of the Puckhead is nothing new. In 2010, Brian Ringham became Puckhead after having my then two-year-old daughter pick his bracket selections out of a hat. Two years later, Joe and Estella Frye shared the honor after Joe threw his daughter under the bus saying that it was she who made the picks, but waiting to do so until after he had been announced as the Puckhead. Of course, this was all prior to WockeyPool.com where players are able to name their brackets and often do so after the people that selected them. And so when Matt Mathiasen’s bracket titled “Finley Mathiasen” became the only bracket unable to move past three points, I had to do some digging to find out who the real Puckhead was. Upon questioning Matt via e-mail, this was the response I received:
“Finley gets 100 percent credit for her bracket. She turns 5 on Monday. She also did a basketball bracket that was too ridiculous to submit, but with the hockey I figured it was worth a shot.”
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to do the dubious dishonor of naming the first ever minor to individually earn the title of Wockey Puckhead, FINLEY MATHIASEN!
What an accomplishment for someone so young! What lack of promise and hope! Her parents must be so proud to see their little princess already so far behind her peers. And what a birthday present for young Finley! You see, this is what Wockey is all about -- finding the future blight on American society, and exposing it to the world. Finley is the type of youngster we can all look to and say, “This country is screwed!” Fortunately for Finley, she now has concrete proof that she has nothing to offer to society. She can take the tools she’s gained from this experience and move forward without having to really give a crap. She’ll be able to turn to resources like this to get through life. She’ll know there are others like her out there with whom she can commiserate. And when the going gets real tough, she can always reach out to the Wockey community for a great big hug. Of course, we’ll shun her and shoo her away like we do all the Puckheads, but it will be a good reminder of her place in life. If only we could all know where we stood at so early an age. That is the gift the title of Puckhead has given her.
For her prize, Finley will receive this yard marker so that when (or perhaps if) she ever learns to read, she’ll know every time she steps out into her yard that she’d probably be better off just staying inside.
And as a side note, may I just say how fantastic it is that Matt decided Finley’s basketball bracket was too ridiculous to submit to a legitimate pool, but that her equally ridiculous hockey bracket was just right for the Wockey Pool. And you know what? Hers was one of just 16 that correctly picked top overall seed to fall to 16th seeded RIT. This is why we love Wockey!
Oftentimes, the talent gap within individual families is remarkably wide. For every Sylvester Stallone, there’s a Frank. For every Cal Ripken, there’s a Billy. For every Alex Walker, there’s a Nick, Zach, and Chris. And it appears that in the Mathiasen family, the Wockey talent genes were distributed in a most unfair manner.
Lyle Jon Mathiasen correctly predicted 7 of 8 first round matchups and three of the four Frozen Four teams to earn 36 points, which leads the pool after Wockey Weekend Number One. Unfortunately for Lyle, his lead may be short-lived as the team he predicted would win the entire tournament, Denver, was bounced on Sunday. However, there is still one scenario in which he could still become our Wockey Champion. That sets up the perfect segue into our 2015 Wockey Pool Frozen Four Scenario Breakdown sponsored by Hooves-R-Us!
Remember, we expanded the payout to eight spots this year, so here are the payout scenarios for each possible championship game outcome:
If North Dakota beats Providence: We’d have a three-way tiebreaker for the title between Chris Walker, Chris Goodman, and Jeremy Meyer. The 4th-8th place spots would also be determined via tiebreaker between former Wockey Champ Jason Kuss, Robin Cook, Chris Lykken, Erik Andersen, and Brandon Nemec.
If North Dakota beats Nebraska-Omaha: There would be another three-way tie for first between Jason Kuss, Chris Lykken, and Brandon Nemec. Daniel Haugen would finish fourth. 5th-7th places would be determined by a tiebreaker between Chris Walker, Chris Goodman, and Jeremy Meyer. 8th place would come down to a tie between Ryan Graupmann and Tom Loff.
If Boston University beats Providence: Another three-way tiebreaker for first, this one between Kuss, Erik Pederson, and Sam Buttweiler. Thomas Nikula would finish fourth while fifth and sixth places would come down to a tiebreaker between Matt Laaksonen and Danny Swendra. Drew Petersen would come in 7th and 8th place would be determined by a tiebreaker between Andy Brammer, Nick Swenson, Jon Libbey, and former Wockey champ Aaron Soroka.
If Boston University beats Nebraska-Omaha: Erik Pederson would be your champion. Matt Laaksonen would finish runner-up. Jason Kuss and Sam Buttweiler would come down to a tiebreaker for third and fourth. Thomas Nikula would finish fifth. Danny Swendra would come in 6th. Drew Petersen would end up 7th. 8th would come down to a tiebreaker between Andy Brammer, Nick Swenson, Jon Libbey, and former Wockey champ Aaron Soroka.
If Providence beats North Dakota: The Wockey Champion would come down to an astounding six-way tie between Nick Swenson, Chris Walker, Chris Goodman, Jeremy Meyer, Zach Walker, and Lauren Floistad. Chris Walker would get an extra bump by having another bracket finish seventh. Lina Fox would come in eighth.
If Providence beats Boston University: Here is the scenario in which Lyle Jon Mathiasen becomes your Wockey Champ. Things pile up after him as we have a five-way tie for 2nd-6th places between Erik Pederson, Lauren Floistad, Jason Kuss, Sam Buttweiler, and Ashley Walker. Chris Walker would finish in seventh place while Thomas Nikula would come in eighth.
If Nebraska-Omaha beats North Dakota: Nick Swenson is your 2015 Wockey Champion. Peter Markham would finish second with Thomas Jones coming in third. Jacob Worley would finish fourth and 5th-7th place would end up in a tiebreaker between Jason Kuss, Chris Lykken, and Brandon Nemec. Daniel Haugen would come in eighth.
If Nebraska-Omaha beats Boston University: Jacob Worley wins it with 52 points. Second goes to Nick Swenson. Peter Markham and Erik Pederson go to the tiebreaker for third and fourth places. Matt Laaksonen comes in fifth. Lyle Jon Mathiasen and Sarah Davis will need a tiebreaker to determine sixth and seventh places. Thomas Jones comes in eighth.
Whew! We’ve only once ever had to go to a tiebreaker to determine the Wockey Champion. A six-way tie just may break the Wockey Analytical Computing Kinesthesis Operator (WACKO), also known as “my brain”. Fortunately, we’ll have two weeks to calm down after the excitement of weekend one. I for one am looking forward to taking some time off, kicking back, and only partially getting through a DVD.
The tournament kicks back into gear April 9th with the two national semis airing on ESPN2 before the national championship game April 11th on ESPN. Good luck to all who still have a chance at the money. Enjoy your two weeks off! And happy birthday to our newest Puckhead!!
Your Kind-a-corny, Uni-corny, Pop-a-corny Wockey Commissioner,
Alex
