A Kuss for Celebration

On a cold April day in 2006, Alex Walker, sitting at his school office desk dismayed by yet another lousy finish in an NCAA basketball pool, was hit with a once-in-a-lifetime idea.  “What if I started my own pool--my own NCAA Hockey Pool?  I’m the only person I know who follows college hockey.  I would win every freaking year!!”  And so, at a time when he should have been working to better the future of America’s youth, Alex instead went about creating this pool, this Wockey Pool.  And a year later, after inviting fourteen of his most dim-witted friends to participate, Alex stood at the top of the Wockey world, the first championship of what he expected to be many under his belt, and his wallet a fat ninety dollars thicker.

That year, Jason Kuss, Walker’s former intern, finished in third place.  As legend had it, Kuss took his $15 in winnings, spent it on PBR and rancid buffalo wings, and concocted a plan to outwit his mentor and eventually become Wockey Champion.

Known for his cunning, his leadership, and his general lack of hair, Kuss convinced the other Wockeyites they were being played for fools.  They revised their strategy, using their lack of brains to their advantage.  Rather than study for the Wockey Pool, rather than let logic dictate their decisions, they threw every intelligent process out the window and began to simply guess.

2007 was the last time Walker won any money in the Wockey Pool.  And now, a year after Aaron Soroka became the first, from that original, intellectually-challenged group of 14 to win the pool, Kuss’s plan has finally come to fruition.

And man, do I feel stupid.

So with that, it’s time to congratulate Jason Kuss on becoming the 2013 Wockey Champion!!!

What an incredibly twisted Wockey Pool we had this year.  Kuss, the pride of Virginia, MN, Southwest Minnesota State Mustangs Football, and Hermantown Star TV, managed to do well enough picking the first fourteen games of the NCAA Tournament to win in our wildest Wockey finish yet.  “Fourteen games?  But there are fifteen games in the NCAA tournament!”, you’d say if you actually paid attention to that sort of thing.  Alas, you’d be right!  That’s because nobody correctly predicted the winner of the tournament, Yale--an astonishing result considering 200 brackets were submitted to the 2013 Wockey Pool!

The Yale Bulldogs, the oldest program in college hockey dating back to 1896, won their first ever national championship by defeating three number one seeds and a number two seed--the first time that’s ever happened.  They are the lowest seed (15th out of 16) to ever win the tournament and the first team from the ECAC conference to win since 1989.  Yale, which hadn’t made the Frozen Four since 1952, almost didn’t make the tournament, needing Notre Dame to defeat Michigan in the last game of the season in order to make it in as the last team in the field.

In a year in which a team like Yale wins the title under those circumstances, it’s only fitting that we have the wildest Wockey finish ever.  For the first time in Wockey Pool history, we actually ended up with a tie at the top of the standings.  Both Jason Kuss and Jason Sturm (who ironically picked Minnesota--the first team Yale beat--to win the tournament) tied for first place with 43 points.  The first tiebreaker is total goals scored in the Frozen Four.  Both Kuss and Sturm had guessed 15 goals would be scored (there were 14).  The second tiebreaker came down to total goals scored in the tournament.  Whoever was closer would be the Wockey Champion.  Kuss guessed 70 goals while Sturm predicted 88.  After Yale’s 4-0 defeat of Qunnipiac, there were 77 total goals scored in the tournament, giving Kuss the win.  Two more goals, and we would have had co-Wockey Champions!

Though the title of Wockey Champion would and should be satisfying enough for anyone who wins the pool, tradition and gambling etiquette suggest that the winner should also be awarded some type of material prize.  For being the 2013 Wockey Champion, Kuss also receives a Wockey-record $816 and this fantastic Wockey Champion beer mug!  Now, Kuss won’t have to use those pesky bottles when swilling his ale of choice while promoting golf courses in a tight-fitting pair of jorts.

Though heartbroken by his oh-so-close attempt at Wockey immortality, Sturm should be heartened by the fact that for finishing second, he’ll walk away with a cool $326.  Finishing in third place, and restoring honor to the Walker name is youngest brother Chris (another original Wockeyite), who will collect $244, the first money won by a Walker since Alex’s initial victory.  For fourth and fifth place, we had to go back to the tiebreaker, as we had three Wockeyties tie for the final two spots.  Joe Zielinski finishes in fourth and will receive $163 after correctly guessing 14 goals would be scored in the Frozen Four.  Erich Manwarren finishes in the money for the second straight year winning $81 for fifth place after guessing 15.  And finishing in sixth place, just out of the money, after spending $100 on ten brackets is Chris Goodman.  It just goes to show you money can’t buy you everything (although to be fair, it can get you some pretty cool stuff).

And so we put a wrap on the Wockey Pool for another year.  To recap, we finished with our first-ever tie at the top of the standings, our first ever zero-point Wockey Puckhead, and a team not selected on any of 200 brackets winning its first NCAA championship in 117.  I think it’s safe to say we’ve topped ourselves once again.

Thank you for playing along in this silly, little pool.  I say it every year, but you are the reason I run this thing.  I’m ecstatic that we’ve reached a point where we’re at 200 brackets every year.  I’m delighted at all of the comments, the camaraderie, the online friendships, the conversations, and the general merriment this pool provides.  I encourage you to join the Facebook group or to follow me (@WockeyPool) on Twitter.  We’re always looking for ways to improve the pool and I’ll be sending out a survey later seeking your help in doing just that.  

I’d also be remiss if I didn’t take time to thank a few people who keep this thing going in the many areas where I’m lacking talent, skill, general hygiene, etc.  Thank you Nate Tkach of NDT Productions, website guru, who put together and maintains WockeyPool.com.  Got a website need?  Hire him yourself by contacting him through www.ndtproductions.com.  Thank you Mike Varian, database mastermind, who improved the pool greatly this year by adding search functionality to the standings.  Mike and fellow Wockeyite Mary Cotie will be getting married in August and you can be sure the Wockey presence will be thick at that wedding.  And mostly, a huge thanks to the First Woman of Wockey, Sarah Walker, who for the last seven years has had to put up with me:

-Trying to figure out a database

-Trying to figure out a spreadsheet

-Trying to figure out how to use toilet paper

-Writing blog posts until the wee hours of the morning

-Facebooking, tweeting, e-mailing, and updating fellow Wockeyites from the dinner table

-Bringing home moldy flowers from the grocery store

-Building a website

-Searching for random links like this one

-And this one

-And this year, figuring out who won and posting updates to Twitter and Facebook while I was working at a Motocross event without wireless access on my phone

I am incredibly fortunate to be married to a (mostly) patient woman who (mostly) puts up with my Wockey wanderings.  We have been married now for (mostly) ten years (it will be ten on May 25th).  By this point, most other women would succumb to all of this Wockiness and flip out.

So for the last time in 2013, congratulations to our Wockey Champion, Jason Kuss!  Shame on our Wockey Puckhead, Elena Meister!  And thank you to everyone who partcipated in Wockey Pool 2013!  One of these years, it may be your turn to be a Wockey star!

Your Shining, Whining, Reclining Wockey Commish,

Alex