Wockey Pool X Day One - Perfect People and Their Imperfect Pasts

Day one is in the books and it’s amazing that we already have a clear picture of who is going to be our winner!  At this point, it’s just simple math -- one of 83 Wockeyites stands the best chance to wear the crown of Wockey Champion.  So there you go!  Good luck everyone!

 

Wait...you want more analysis?  More of that coveted Wockey breakdown?  I'm not sure I'm in the mood after Harvard, my huge upset pick to win the NCAA title, got waxed by Boston College on day one.  Sure, one could say, "Hey idiot -- way to pick a team that hasn't won an NCAA Tournament game since 1994 to win the whole thing."  Well...you've got a point there.  Fine.  Here's your stupid analysis.

 

Normally I like to take the time to highlight those who remain perfect after day one, but since things went so according to plan yesterday in so many brackets, and since I couldn’t possibly tell you something about all 83, I’m going to cherry pick a few I know something interesting about.  I must warn you though, some of the details I'm about to share are incredibly personal and potentially embarassing...which of course makes them perfect for Wockey.

 

Chad Felchle (AKA Chad Felchle) - To call Chad thrifty would be a disservice to bargain hunters everywhere.  When it comes to getting out of having to pay for things, Chad will go to incredible lengths, as he did when he moved to New Zealand to marry a girl (and her cat) just to save money on clothes.

 

Heather Kuss (AKA Big Kuss - PUCKIN MOMMY bracket) - Is married to former Wockey Champion and Original 16 member Jason Kuss.  Heather, a frequent on the pageant tour, finished runner-up in Iowa’s Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival last month.

 

Justin Maas (AKA Puck_Head) - Doesn’t understand copyright law very well.  Puckhead is a trademarked name, and if one chooses to use it, they need to perform the pathetic duties of the Puckhead, not go perfect on day one.  Expect to hear from my attorneys at Wockey, Wockey, and Puckhead, Justin.

 

Brandon Nemec (AKA Brandon) - Far and away the star of the first day with three of his four entered brackets being perfect, Brandon is actually a North Carolina-based police detective who just cracked his biggest case yet.

 

Matt Kilby/Stephanie Eschen (AKA Fatty - Fatty and Chica #1 Brackets) - No offense to Matt and Stephanie, but other than the fact that Matt annually loses to his mom, Mary Jane, in the Wockey Pool, there really isn’t much interesting about them.  Their son, Trevor, however, is another story.

 

Ben Tveitbakk (AKA Ben Tveitbakk) - Ben is a bit of a drifter, a misunderstood soul who often has run ins with the law.  Nobody is quite sure of Ben’s exact whereabouts, but there are rumors he was recent spotted wandering around downtown Seattle.

 

Brooke Zilka (AKA Brooke) - Brooke is a perfectly lovely girl who makes poor choices when it comes to men, perfectly exemplified by her sense that she had a strong connection with a lad at a bar in Essex County, England last Friday before returning from the loo to discover that he had left.  It will take her weeks to get over this latest heartbreak.

 

Finley Mathiasen (AKA Matt Mathiasen - Finley Mathiasen Bracket) - Last year’s Puckhead has apparently learned something at the tender age of 5, which is good seeing as how some people are forever damaged by that disgrace.  Finley is actually three points ahead of older brother and defending Wockey Champion, Grady.  Tension in the Mathiasen household is reportedly at an all-time high.

 

Speaking of Puckheads, that race is abundantly more clear than the race for Wockey Champion.  Four Wockeyites failed to correctly pick a single game on day one of Wockey, and one of those Wockeyites, Chris Goodman, had two imperfect brackets.  He’s bound to get one pick right as he’s selected Mass.-Lowell in one bracket and Yale in the other and those teams play each other in the first round.  Among all five remaining imperfect brackets, all have both Quinnipiac and St. Cloud State winning today, so the Puckhead could be determined by the outcomes of the Mass.-Lowell-Yale and Boston U.-Denver games.  In all likelihood, it will come down to a tiebreaker to be determined during the Frozen Four.  However, that doesn’t mean any of the four first day flops -- Goodman, Chris Walker, Lauren Floistad, and Peter Markham -- should have any confidence in themselves as human beings.

 

The biggest day of Wockey starts at 2:00 CT today when St. Cloud faces off with Ferris State.  It ends six games later with Minnesota-Duluth and Boston College battling to go to the Frozen Four.  It’s the best day of college hockey all year, so enjoy it!  Good luck to those still in contention!  Wockey on!!

 

Your Tree-Climbing, Trespassing, Deeply Troubled Worckey Commish,

Alex