Wockey Pool X - Our Newest Wockey Champi-Jon or Not a Hoff Bad Finish
Posted 4/12/16Wockey Pool X has come and gone as North Dakota wins their first title since 2000 with a 5-1 victory over Quinnipiac. The Fighting Hawks’ win means we have a new entrant into Wockey’s hallowed hall of Champions -- Jon Brinckerhoff! In his bracket (aptly titled Brinckerhoff’s Bracket #1), Jon had only two missed picks collecting 60 points (out of a possible 68) after correctly predicting North Dakota would take down the Bobcats in the final. A remarkable 37 Wockeyites also properly prognosticated that the Hawks would down Quinnipiac with those brackets finishing everywhere from first to 99th overall (more on that in a bit).
The title game was closer than the final score would indicate. North Dakota jumped out to a 2-0 lead only to see Quinnipiac score with just over a minute to play in the first period. The teams skated to a scoreless second leaving the game’s outcome very much in doubt heading into the third. The Fighting Hawks ended those doubts quickly, though, scoring two goals in the first four minutes of the period before adding an insurance tally midway through the frame.
The win moves North Dakota into second place all time with eight national titles, breaking a tie with Denver and moving them within one of Michigan, which hasn’t won since 1998. More importantly for Fighting Sioux...err...Hawks fans, it gives them the last word in their ongoing rivalry with Gopher fans at least as far as to the topic of “most recent title”. Quinnipiac, meanwhile, has become one of the dominant forces in college hockey, but has lost two national title games in the last four years. Rumor has it they’re planning to move the university from Connecticut to Minnesota.
Brinckerhoff, meanwhile, remains a mystery. The little we know about the man is that he lives in Colorado and is good at predicting college hockey games. Our crack Wockey research team discovered a few leads that may end up revealing more about our latest champ. One suggests he’s a lawyer who recently lost a case to an unusual attorney. Another theorizes he’s a craft brewer working on a surprising new recipe. Our most promising tip suggests he once ventured into politics by acting as campaign manager for a third party candidate. But as of now, there is little to know about Jon the Champi-on.
One thing we do know about him? He just won a boatload of cash. $1703.19 to be precise. It’s our second-largest champion pot to date, but it’s accompanied by our best Champion's prize.
How fitting that in a state that loves it’s liquor as much as Colorado, Jon takes home this 3-liter Wockey-branded whiskey barrel? Now Jon’s friends will not only recognize him as a man who appreciates whiskey, they’ll know he’s a champion beyond the limited walls of liquor admiration. They’ll know he’s a true champion. A WOCKEY Champion.
As one would expect with 37 people correctly predicting the title matchup, tiebreakers required us to separate the rest of the placewinners. Six Wockeyites finished with 57 points behind Jon. Our first tiebreaker -- correctly predicting the NCAA Champion -- became moot when all tied entrants selected North Dakota, which means that our second tiebreaker -- total Frozen Four goals scored -- came into play. Continuing a tradition of pre-adolescent Wockey excellence started by six-year-old 2015 Wockey Champion Grady Mathiasen, Bella Zeimet -- also six -- finishes in second place by way of her correct prediction that 17 goals would be scored in this year’s Frozen Four. I repeat -- unless your name is Jon Brinckerhoff, YOU JUST GOT BEAT BY A SIX-YEAR-OLD. To add insult to that injury, Bella will receive $510.96 for her efforts. Just think of all the My Little Ponies that kind of money can buy!
Determining third through fifth place resulted in the first ever use of the third (formerly second, even more formerly non-existent) tiebreaker in Wockey history -- total tournament goals scored -- as Erik Pederson, Sam Brammer, and David McDonell all tied by being one off of Frozen Four goals predicted. The total tournament goals scored were 91, which meant that Erik Pederson, who predicted 84 goals would be scored in the tournament, finishes third for the second year in a row and collects $340.64. 13-year-old Sam Brammer guessed 79 goals would be scored and will receive $272.51 for his fourth place finish (which will probably go towards Five Seconds of Summer concert tickets). Despite Wockey advising that total tournament goals generally end up between 70-100, McDonell predicted there would be 48 goals scored in the tournament, dropping him to 5th place for which he’ll receive $238.45. I could continue to make fun of him for this, but...you know.
We go back to the second tiebreaker for sixth place. Wockey Puckhead Chris Goodman’s father Ron earns not only the right to tell his son how disappointed he is in him, but also $170.32 for finishing sixth. And finishing seventh, last among those tied with 57 points is Sam Brammer’s pseudo-aunt, Stephanie Eschen. Original Wockeyite Matt Kilby is used to finishing below his mom in this pool, and added a twist this year by losing to his baby mama, Stephanie. In addition to the privilege of being able to join the long line of Kilby women who are better than Matt at Wockey, Stephanie will also secure $102.18 in Wockey winnings.
In a pool that finished as wildly as this one, it’s only fitting that eighth place, paying out a measly $68.12, would come down to a tiebreaker involving eight brackets tied at 54 points -- two of which were owned by Thomas Nikula. Alas, the odds didn’t end up in Thomas’s favor, but rather that of our third place finisher, Erik Pederson, who adds to his winnings by being the closest predictor of Frozen Four goals scored among the eight.
Wockey always comes down to weird twists such as those mentioned above. Several Wockeyites submit multiple brackets -- Pederson typically does ten. Sometimes it pays off. Sometimes it doesn’t. One of the other seven out-of-the-money finishers tied with 54 points was owned by Chris Goodman, who officially clinched Wockey Puckhead status when the Frozen Four goals cumulatively fell short of the 41 he needed to overcome his tiebreaker gaffe. Not only did Chris miss out on that eighth-place money, but do you remember when I had earlier mentioned that the 37 brackets that had correctly nailed the national championship outcome finished everywhere from first to 99th place? Whose bracket could possibly have finished as low as 99th while still picking the final matchup and outcome correctly? Of course you know. It had Puckhead written all over it.
In a remarkable feat of dumb luck, Chris’s “F’n Hawks Rule” bracket only managed to pick two first round matchups correctly. It just so happens that those two were Quinnipiac and North Dakota and that he also had them both winning all the way until the title game where he had the “F’n Hawks” top the Bobcats for the title. It’s almost too good to make up. Of course, it means that not only does Chris end up as our Puckhead, but that his best bracket -- one of only 37 to nail the final game correctly -- finishes 91 places out of the money. And thanks to his father, sixth place finisher Ron, we have a most appropriate picture of Chris to adorn our Wockey Puckhead prize.
Yes, this deck of cards will constantly remind Chris of his multiple missteps during the 2016 Wockey Pool. What are the odds the cards' printers further compound Chris’s obvious penchant for failure by producing 52 jokers?
And with that, the tenth annual Wockey Pool - Wockey Pool X - is ready to be put to rest. Once again, I owe a great deal of gratitude to the Wockey Webmaster, Mike Varian, for helping with the various technical aspects of Wockey, particularly those that became a greater pain than he and I anticipated during the registration period. Next year, when those are problems of the past, I anticipate Wockey growing even larger as we set up a more seamless registration experience.
I also owe more thanks than I can possibly give to the First Woman of Wockey, Sarah, who almost made up for her years of sacrifice by nearly finishing in the money (damned Boston College and Denver losses), but instead had to suffer through another year of husband/father absenteeism while Wockey took over her betrothed’s life for a few weeks. What a good woman will put up with so that her husband can perpetuate his silly game…
Lastly, I owe the greatest of thanks to you, my fellow Wockeyites. I say it every year, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful or true -- YOU are the ones that make this pool great. It’s because of you that we’ve grown by more nearly 350 entries since our first year. You keep promoting Wockey, bringing in new entrants every year. I can’t begin to express how thankful I am that you not only enjoy this pool, but are eager to share it with your family, friends, coworkers, and other degenerate acquaintances. As much work as these two weeks can be, it’s an honor to see how much it means to you and how happy you are to continue to work to grow Wockey.
So with that said, congratulations to the enigmatic Jon Brinckerhoff and to all our Wockey winners, a pox be on your house to Wockey Puckhead Chris Goodman, and thank you to all of our lovely 2016 Wockey Pool participants. I can’t wait to see you back next year!
Oh, and by the way...next year your Wockey Commissioner will be celebrating his 40h birthday in Chicago during the Frozen Four, my first ever trip to the tournament. ALL are welcome to join me! Hope to see you (and my beloved St. Cloud State Huskies) there!!
Your Thickheaded, Theatrical, Thirty-Nine-Year-Old Wockey Commish,
Alex
