Wockey Pool 2018 - Of Failed Favorites and Missing Unicorns

Welcome to Wockey 2018!!  You are the select few with the contemptible morals required to participate in the most baseless, inane competition known to the gambling world...the Wockey Pool!

 

We ended up with 367 brackets this year, though a few payments are en route that will increase that number slightly!  Both congratulations and an appropriate amount of shame is owed to all of you!

 

We have officially dropped the puck on the opening game between Notre Dame and Michigan Tech in the East Regional as we kick off the first of four games in the tournament today.  I myself am working at the West Regional in Sioux Falls where my beloved St. Cloud State Huskies will look to advance as the top overall seed to the Frozen Four in St. Paul. I will try to update as often as possible via Facebook Live (aka old people trying to use the internet) from the Mount Rushmore State during the proceedings.

 

As we do every year, we must first name our Wockey Bracket Name of the Year Award, also known as the “They Spent More Effort Naming Their Bracket Than They Did Considering Their Picks” Award.  The nominees are:

 

St. Cloud is Not a State, Ryan Pierre Cordier - Very astute observation Ryan, although after the Huskies win the title, the State of Hockey may have to be officially renamed.

 

Sunshine, Rainbows, and Wockey, Brooke Zilka - When I think of Wockey, I think of all the things Brooke alludes to in this bracket name...especially Wockey.  This name might have won had it also included unicorns.

 

Chris Long’s Red Hair, Nick Sapienza - This one tickles the commish’s funny bone on a personal level as I was once roommates with KSTP sports anchor Chris Long.  I’m not sure if Nick knows Chris, but I’m assuming he doesn’t, which makes the name funny to me. Even if it doesn’t make it funny to you. But it’s MY pool. So stop judging me.

 

Hey man, where’s North Dakota?

Seriously, where’s North Dakota?, Ed Morgans - A first-time nominee for this award, Ed hits the perfect tone of mockery with his two bracket names for your St. Cloud State-loving commish after their rival F’n Hawks missed the tourney for the first time in 15 years due in large part to a season-ending loss to my Huskies.

 

BobSaget1

BobSaget2

BobSaget3

BobSaget4

BobSagetXXX - Brian Anderson - Wow.  Just a solid commitment to the bit here by Brian naming all five of his brackets after one of the most revered father figures in sticom history.  Capping it off with BobSagetXXX honors the disturbing, disgusting and incredibly ironic stand-up routine of Mr. Saget in perfect fashion. Don’t believe me?  Watch the documentary The Aristocrats if you’re not faint of heart.

 

oprah. uma. uma. oprah., Neil Hennen - Silly.  Just silly.  This bracket name is what Wockey is all about.  It would’ve won the award for Neil if not for...

 

THE WOCKEY BRACKET NAME OF THE YEAR AWARD goes to…

 

Don Lucia Memorial Bracket, Neil Hennen - ...this one.  Again, in the spirit of mocking St. Cloud State rivals, there was no other bracket name that could win this year besides this one.  The “Don” for those who aren’t tapped into the NCAA hockey or Minnesota sports worlds, references the sudden, somewhat shocking retirement of Gophers coach Lucia.  Coach Lucia, for all his success, has earned the scorn of not only many Gophers fans, but pretty much anyone who has met the fellow. I’ve always said that I would be happy to root for the Gophers (to a point) once the Don was gone.  And that day has now come. With the Gophers missing the NCAA tournament in the most incredible of circumstances, it’s even more satisfying that the page can now turn and the Gophers can once again rise to respectability, so long as it doesn’t come at the hands of my other favorite schools, which it inevitably will.  Oh well. So long Coach Lucia. It’s been a long, arduous, painful ride.

 

And congratulations to Neil!  For your superb bracket naming efforts, you will receive this.  (These could’ve been yours, Brooke.)

 

And now we’re on to the tournament!  Surely, many of you will be lamenting your participation in this pool after today’s first four games.  That’s part of the pain of Wockey. And by tomorrow night, we’ll have a good idea of who this year’s Puckhead will be...though if the Wockey gods are kind, it’ll come down to the Frozen Four as it did last year.

 

Good luck to all!  Enjoy the tournament!  It’s time to Wockey!!!

 

Your Spontaneous, Spurious, Spiteful Wockey Commish,

 

Alex

 

P.S.  This.