Wockey Pool 2019 - A Legacy of Lunacy

My Fellow Wockeyites-

 

13 years ago an idea spawned which has transformed this very world as we know it.  Whilst sitting in my office at Hopkins High School in Minnetonka, MN, I was doing what I do best -- namely not working -- when I decided to send an e-mail out to a few close friends (read: gambling degenerates) whom I thought might be interested in participating in a game of wit and whimsy, a game in which we would pick NCAA Hockey Tournament games for money.  I dug deep into my well of useless information and obscure website links to craft an e-mail that I thought would be amusing to some of these friends.  In the end, 15 of my comrades -- all of whom were also looking to waste time at work -- agreed to participate.  And so the Wockey Pool began.

 

The pool has morphed and grown in the years since then.  The following year, it grew to 32 brackets and to 54 the year after that.  By the fourth pool, it had reached 75, and I will never forget the day that, now working at Minnetonka High School, I spent my entire day submitting e-mailed picks into the master spreadsheet my sister-in-law built for me to manage the pool.  I had never wasted more time on non-work than I did that day, so much so that I came perilously close to feeling guilty about it.

 

The next year I knew that I needed a website if I was going to be able to handle this ever-growing pool.  Thus WockeyPool.com was formed.  Now in its 7th year of existence, it has grown into the envy of the other four college hockey gambling websites (and for some reason this website), carefully cultivated by Wockey Webmaster Mike Varian into a space where college hockey enthusiasts, finally unafraid to come out and show their love for America’s greatest sport, can come to wager money on their favorite pastime, lose that money within literally the first few hours of the tournament, and then curse the name of Wockey only to spend a year forgetting how much they hated the experience before coming back to participate when the tournament rolls around again.

 

Over the years Wockey has expanded to include a Facebook and Twitter following, a roster of prizes for both Champions and Puckheads that has grown ever more delightful and deranged, live updates from both the regionals and the Frozen Four, and as a result the pool has grown to annually average 400 brackets, a remarkable accomplishment for a pool that began from the humble roots formed when I willfully chose to neglect other more important responsibilities.

 

It has been a magical 13 year run.  But alas, all good things must come to an end.  And so it is with equal parts sadness and nervous excitement that I tell you that this will be the final installment of the game we all love and cherish so much, the Wockey Pool.

 

Now I know that you, oh lover of all things Wockey, must feel as though your world has been shattered.  And I completely understand.  Trust me when I say that this decision has not come lightly or without an extreme amount of consternation and consideration.  But it is the decision that I’ve made.  And in doing so, I realized that I had a choice -- I could either make this a sad announcement, one that might literally destroy society as we know it -- or...I could make this an opportunity to put on the most extreme Wockey in the history of Wockey!

 

And so, this is my pledge to you, fellow Wockeyites.  This Wockey -- the Final Wockey -- will be the best Wockey of all time, a competitionl that some day may even be revered on the level of the World Gurning Championships, the Naki Sumo Baby Crying Festival, or even -- if we truly dare to dream -- the Bubble Baba Challenge.

 

This year’s Champion and Puckhead prizes will be the best and most quirky yet.  The live updates will be the most unique as I first bring you action from the Northeast Regional in New Hampshire and later the Frozen Four itself in Buffalo, NY.  And in the most extreme Wockey feat to date, I will go over Niagara Falls on nothing but a styrofoam cut out of the Wockey Pool logo wearing nothing but a full body Wockey-themed bodysuit!  (Lawyers note:  Wockey Commissioner is not legally bound to follow through on promises of death-defying, idiotic stunt attempts based off drunken incoherent rants posted in an electronic invitation to said Wockey Pool.  Thank God this is the last year of this thing.  Wait...am I still typing?).

 

Lastly and most importantly, if we can do this right, I hope to give out the largest cash prize in the history of Wockey!

 

We reached our all-time high two years ago with 413 brackets and originally I thought of setting a goal of 500 brackets for the final Wockey Pool.  But then the most curious and twisted gem of an idea hit me.  As this is a pool filled with many midwestern fans -- namely fans of Minnesota, North Dakota, UMD, and my beloved St. Cloud State, many of you have probably seen this tweet.  Anyone who has participated in the pool knows how I love to rub the disappointment of my Gopher-loving friends in their faces.  And so this year -- the last year of Wockey -- I have decided that I want to try to have more people participate in Wockey than there were fans who bought tickets for that game.  That’s right.  I’m shooting for 1300+ brackets entered into Wockey this year!

 

Right now, we pay out the top eight brackets.  If we make it to 500, the prizes will be paid out to the top ten brackets.  If we get to 700, we’ll pay out the top 12.  850, they will be paid out to the top 14, 1000 top 16, 1150 top 18, and if somehow we get to the magical Mariucci number of 1300, we’ll pay out the top 20 finishers.  No matter where the number ends up, the champion will still receive 50% of the pot.  That means that if we reach our magic number of 1300, the grand prize would be in the neighborhood of $6500!

 

I know what you’re thinking -- Walker, you’re a damned genius.  It’s true.  But in order for this to happen, I need you guys to sell this pool like you’ve never sold it before.  This pool has grown to the size it has based off one thing over the past thirteen years -- YOU.  You have brought in your friends, your family, your coworkers, your fantasy leaguemates, your neighborhood ruffians, your hotel maids, your parole officers, your fellow boxcar travelers, and your illegitimate children because you know that the only thing that will truly fulfill them before their days come to a violent, merciful end is a little taste of that sweet, sweet Wockey.  Well if we’re going to grow this league by over three times its size for one final hurrah -- then it’s going to come down to you spreading the Wockey gospel like you’ve never done before.

 

This is THE LAST WOCKEY POOL...EVER!  Let’s make it the biggest, baddest one yet!  Get everyone you know to fill out brackets at WockeyPool.com.  Need to give them a push?  Tempt them with the best prizes in the history of Wockey!  Have them join you in paying homage to distinguished past champions and dishonored former Puckheads in the Wockey Hall of Fame/Shame.  And be sure to have them join our Facebook group and follow Wockey on Twitter.  You have until the puck drops on Harvard and Massachusetts in a game I’ll be at in Manchester, NH at 2:00CT on Friday.

 

13 years!!!  Some think 13 an unlucky number.  I call it a beautiful number to end on!  And how fitting that we’re shooting for 1300 entries!!  Won’t you help me make this last Wockey the biggest and best Wockey of all time?  Let’s make it a Mariucci Miracle!  Let’s enjoy this beautiful disaster one last time!  Let’s get to Wockeying!!!

 

Your Emboldened, Embellished, Soon-to-be Embalmed Wockey Commish,

 

Alex

 

P.S.  This.